Hello all. I've just been feeling.. a bit down about life recently. I have a few reasons for this.
First off: I just found out less than an hour ago that one of my cats just died earlier today. My mom took her to the SPCA to be cremated. She was only 6 years old, while cats are usually between, I'd say, about 10-20 years old when they typically die. The main reason was that my family has not had money to bring her to the veterinarian. Not only did my cat have diabetes, she also had a tumor in her abdomen, so one or the other or both could have taken her in the end. Tuesday afternoon, I noticed that she was alive and well responding but was having trouble moving and constantly having seizures. She was like that yesterday morning, as well. Yesterday afternoon, when I went to see her, I noticed that she was not responding at all and was completely still, but still breathing. I knew she had not long to live once I saw her in that state. This morning, she was still the same, not moving or responding but still breathing. Less than an hour ago, however, when I got into my mom's car to go home from school, she told me the news that the cat stopped breathing and my mom took her to the SPCA to be cremated. We had had her since January 2010, when she was but a kitten, barely old enough to be away from her mother, as was my other cat, which we got at the same time. The one thing my mom has been telling me, however, is that both of our cats could have been killed if they had not been adopted for much longer after we did. At least she got to live more than 5 years longer than she could have. And also, we only have to spend half as much as we used to on food and litter. Speaking of which:
My next issue: Where I live currently and money. My family does not have all that much money, and if you saw my apartment, not trying to win attention here, but you would have to feel a little sorry for me. Some of our neighbors around us are smokers, and a few even do drugs, so we have to deal with those smells all the time. We have moved a fair amount of times in our lives and twice have even had to resort to staying with relatives for a few weeks before we could find an affordable place to live. Only one place I have lived before was a house, although 1. it was not in the best neighborhood and 2. it was somewhat small as a twin, but not as small as any apartments we have lived in. About the money: We are a middle class family, but barely. You would want to think the opposite if you were to visit us. My parents would have to make a little less to be considered poor. For a lot of things, financial assistance either isn't enough or is embarrassing. For instance, I wanted to enroll in a summer music program, but it is very expensive for us. My mom emailed them about financial assistance, but they said they could only offer a small amount of a discount. It was still not enough.
My final thing to say here: School. I am normally a pretty good student in school but I have not gotten strait As yet this school year. My parents always expect me to get As on assignments but lately I have been getting a lot of Bs and Cs. I have strait As for the moment but I have a big history final and a big math final coming up in two weeks. I am especially worried about math as I am afraid it will be the thing to make me lose my A in math at the last moment. It is usually hard for me to do better than a C+ on math tests lately. I have a bad feeling that will play on once this final arrives. I got low Bs in the 1st and 3rd quarters this year even though I cam just over half a percentage away from an A in quarter 2. Not only am I stressed academically, but I am really not much of a talker at all. Often I am quiet for a large portion of lunch time. I have trouble talking to others in general and sometimes I just seem to be an inactive block unnecessarily taking up space at the lunch table. I've gotten a little better recently but I'm still not great. This, in turn, is what I believe is part of the reason I am sensitive to there being a lot of talking while there shouldn't be any. The other part is jazz band. I am in my school's jazz band, and many of those in it often tend to play their instruments just about whenever they want, even though they shouldn't be. Occasionally it's talking, too, which is the other part of the reason I am lately very sensitive to unnecessary playing of instruments and talking when it shouldn't be there. I am going into high school for the first time in September, which, hopefully, will change my experience with things. Hopefully I will be able to take on new opportunities to help me with my social skills. Jazz band there should be more serious.
I hope you all understand what I am going through, and hope to not receive any embarrassment or criticism over these things that I cannot control.
First off: I just found out less than an hour ago that one of my cats just died earlier today. My mom took her to the SPCA to be cremated. She was only 6 years old, while cats are usually between, I'd say, about 10-20 years old when they typically die. The main reason was that my family has not had money to bring her to the veterinarian. Not only did my cat have diabetes, she also had a tumor in her abdomen, so one or the other or both could have taken her in the end. Tuesday afternoon, I noticed that she was alive and well responding but was having trouble moving and constantly having seizures. She was like that yesterday morning, as well. Yesterday afternoon, when I went to see her, I noticed that she was not responding at all and was completely still, but still breathing. I knew she had not long to live once I saw her in that state. This morning, she was still the same, not moving or responding but still breathing. Less than an hour ago, however, when I got into my mom's car to go home from school, she told me the news that the cat stopped breathing and my mom took her to the SPCA to be cremated. We had had her since January 2010, when she was but a kitten, barely old enough to be away from her mother, as was my other cat, which we got at the same time. The one thing my mom has been telling me, however, is that both of our cats could have been killed if they had not been adopted for much longer after we did. At least she got to live more than 5 years longer than she could have. And also, we only have to spend half as much as we used to on food and litter. Speaking of which:
My next issue: Where I live currently and money. My family does not have all that much money, and if you saw my apartment, not trying to win attention here, but you would have to feel a little sorry for me. Some of our neighbors around us are smokers, and a few even do drugs, so we have to deal with those smells all the time. We have moved a fair amount of times in our lives and twice have even had to resort to staying with relatives for a few weeks before we could find an affordable place to live. Only one place I have lived before was a house, although 1. it was not in the best neighborhood and 2. it was somewhat small as a twin, but not as small as any apartments we have lived in. About the money: We are a middle class family, but barely. You would want to think the opposite if you were to visit us. My parents would have to make a little less to be considered poor. For a lot of things, financial assistance either isn't enough or is embarrassing. For instance, I wanted to enroll in a summer music program, but it is very expensive for us. My mom emailed them about financial assistance, but they said they could only offer a small amount of a discount. It was still not enough.
My final thing to say here: School. I am normally a pretty good student in school but I have not gotten strait As yet this school year. My parents always expect me to get As on assignments but lately I have been getting a lot of Bs and Cs. I have strait As for the moment but I have a big history final and a big math final coming up in two weeks. I am especially worried about math as I am afraid it will be the thing to make me lose my A in math at the last moment. It is usually hard for me to do better than a C+ on math tests lately. I have a bad feeling that will play on once this final arrives. I got low Bs in the 1st and 3rd quarters this year even though I cam just over half a percentage away from an A in quarter 2. Not only am I stressed academically, but I am really not much of a talker at all. Often I am quiet for a large portion of lunch time. I have trouble talking to others in general and sometimes I just seem to be an inactive block unnecessarily taking up space at the lunch table. I've gotten a little better recently but I'm still not great. This, in turn, is what I believe is part of the reason I am sensitive to there being a lot of talking while there shouldn't be any. The other part is jazz band. I am in my school's jazz band, and many of those in it often tend to play their instruments just about whenever they want, even though they shouldn't be. Occasionally it's talking, too, which is the other part of the reason I am lately very sensitive to unnecessary playing of instruments and talking when it shouldn't be there. I am going into high school for the first time in September, which, hopefully, will change my experience with things. Hopefully I will be able to take on new opportunities to help me with my social skills. Jazz band there should be more serious.
I hope you all understand what I am going through, and hope to not receive any embarrassment or criticism over these things that I cannot control.