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Quest

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Hello all. I've just been feeling.. a bit down about life recently. I have a few reasons for this.
First off: I just found out less than an hour ago that one of my cats just died earlier today. My mom took her to the SPCA to be cremated. She was only 6 years old, while cats are usually between, I'd say, about 10-20 years old when they typically die. The main reason was that my family has not had money to bring her to the veterinarian. Not only did my cat have diabetes, she also had a tumor in her abdomen, so one or the other or both could have taken her in the end. Tuesday afternoon, I noticed that she was alive and well responding but was having trouble moving and constantly having seizures. She was like that yesterday morning, as well. Yesterday afternoon, when I went to see her, I noticed that she was not responding at all and was completely still, but still breathing. I knew she had not long to live once I saw her in that state. This morning, she was still the same, not moving or responding but still breathing. Less than an hour ago, however, when I got into my mom's car to go home from school, she told me the news that the cat stopped breathing and my mom took her to the SPCA to be cremated. We had had her since January 2010, when she was but a kitten, barely old enough to be away from her mother, as was my other cat, which we got at the same time. The one thing my mom has been telling me, however, is that both of our cats could have been killed if they had not been adopted for much longer after we did. At least she got to live more than 5 years longer than she could have. And also, we only have to spend half as much as we used to on food and litter. Speaking of which:
My next issue: Where I live currently and money. My family does not have all that much money, and if you saw my apartment, not trying to win attention here, but you would have to feel a little sorry for me. Some of our neighbors around us are smokers, and a few even do drugs, so we have to deal with those smells all the time. We have moved a fair amount of times in our lives and twice have even had to resort to staying with relatives for a few weeks before we could find an affordable place to live. Only one place I have lived before was a house, although 1. it was not in the best neighborhood and 2. it was somewhat small as a twin, but not as small as any apartments we have lived in. About the money: We are a middle class family, but barely. You would want to think the opposite if you were to visit us. My parents would have to make a little less to be considered poor. For a lot of things, financial assistance either isn't enough or is embarrassing. For instance, I wanted to enroll in a summer music program, but it is very expensive for us. My mom emailed them about financial assistance, but they said they could only offer a small amount of a discount. It was still not enough.
My final thing to say here: School. I am normally a pretty good student in school but I have not gotten strait As yet this school year. My parents always expect me to get As on assignments but lately I have been getting a lot of Bs and Cs. I have strait As for the moment but I have a big history final and a big math final coming up in two weeks. I am especially worried about math as I am afraid it will be the thing to make me lose my A in math at the last moment. It is usually hard for me to do better than a C+ on math tests lately. I have a bad feeling that will play on once this final arrives. I got low Bs in the 1st and 3rd quarters this year even though I cam just over half a percentage away from an A in quarter 2. Not only am I stressed academically, but I am really not much of a talker at all. Often I am quiet for a large portion of lunch time. I have trouble talking to others in general and sometimes I just seem to be an inactive block unnecessarily taking up space at the lunch table. I've gotten a little better recently but I'm still not great. This, in turn, is what I believe is part of the reason I am sensitive to there being a lot of talking while there shouldn't be any. The other part is jazz band. I am in my school's jazz band, and many of those in it often tend to play their instruments just about whenever they want, even though they shouldn't be. Occasionally it's talking, too, which is the other part of the reason I am lately very sensitive to unnecessary playing of instruments and talking when it shouldn't be there. I am going into high school for the first time in September, which, hopefully, will change my experience with things. Hopefully I will be able to take on new opportunities to help me with my social skills. Jazz band there should be more serious.
I hope you all understand what I am going through, and hope to not receive any embarrassment or criticism over these things that I cannot control.
 

Zachy

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Hey Quest! Sorry to hear that you're having problems in your life recently. Just remember that life is a roller coaster with ups and downs. Everyone had their ups, everyone has their downs. But in the end, we are all just trying to get through it. So good times are awaiting you, I assure you. :) I'm sorry to hear about your cat. It's always very saddening when a family pet dies, runs away, etc... Just remember that your cat is in a good place now, and what you guys did was great; instead of trying to revive her yourselves or have a vet do it... That would only make your cat suffer more. That's not to say that your home wasn't great and that you guys didn't treat her well, it's just that when a cat is suffering, it doesn't matter the location and how great it is- they're still suffering. So now that she's in heaven, she doesn't have to suffer anymore. :) Sometimes we die too early. Humans die early because of uncontrollable factors, the same goes for cats. It's unfair, but unfortunately, it's how the world works. I promise you that over time, you will heal completely and you will be yourself again. I don't mean to turn this about me, but one of my cats ran away almost a year ago. He did it before, but we got him back. However, this most recent time, we weren't able to get him back and we still don't have him back. It's saddening, but I now knowingly live with it and accept the fact that he's gone. The point being that while it's saddening, you will get over it over time. You won't be sad forever, so don't worry. You guys did everything you could; don't live in denial with your blinders on asking yourself what could've happened if you did this or that. It will only make yourself feel worst, and I'm telling you right now that your family did the best you could. Focus on the positives of your cat, rather than feeling sad that she's gone. That's of course easier said than done, but it will certainly help out with the healing process. Don't be embarrassed about your financial situation. Your financial situation does not define who you are as a person. You're a bright, amazing, intelligent person, and your family doesn't need to be raking in the dough to justify that statement. I'm sure your parents do the best they can as well. If you have a roof over your head (no matter how small), you sadly have a lot more than other people! So definitely don't feel embarrassed. Ignore any rich, entitled rude and snarky people if they ever try to judge you. They don't know your whole story and how hard your family works, so they can't even accurately judge you to begin with; rendering their comments useless anyway. Just make do with what you got! Maybe help out and get a job if/when you're old enough and have the time to do so? In terms of school, I have plenty of experience there as I'm graduating high school. It's great to have high standards like you and your parents do, but it's also super important to remember that you will get burned out if it's school all the time. Sometimes you need a break; sometimes you need to just get one C on an assignment because you're so burned out and didn't have the time to put in the effort. The second thing that's important to remember is that a C is AVERAGE. That means a majority of people get a C. So a C isn't bad, and really anything ABOVE that is incredible! It means you're above average! Again, it's of course nice to have high standards, but it truly isn't the end of the world if you get not so great grades. Even getting quite a few Fs isn't really going to screw you over. Parents have these high expectations because they want you to get into a college; usually a good one at that. But getting Fs from time to time really isn't going to be any concern; it certainly isn't something that's going to prevent you from going to college or anything like that. So definitely don't be so stressed! Don't slack off or anything of course, but getting bad grades doesn't define you or your future. And frankly, even if you were to get into a not so great college, most people end up in the same jobs anyway, regardless of the college they went to. The only thing that the people who went to a good college achieved is the bragging rights (which no one could give a crap about actually), and they burned even more of a hole in their pocket! Amazing! So yeah, definitely don't worry. Being shy is a problem a lot of people have. Just try to start a conversation about anything to get you more comfortable. The more confident you are around people, the more comfortable you'll be when trying to spark conversations with other people. Or you could join a club around an interest you have and talk about that common interest- you obviously all have it since you're in the club, and you'll surely make some friends from it! You could also talk to a guidance counselor or maybe a therapist if you have something more than just being that shy kid (such as social anxiety). But really, the only way to overcome that is to try talking more and more. As always, easier said than done- but trying never hurt anyone!

I hope you found this helpful and good luck! Please update us. :)
 
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Jaggy

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Hello all. I've just been feeling.. a bit down about life recently. I have a few reasons for this.
First off: I just found out less than an hour ago that one of my cats just died earlier today. My mom took her to the SPCA to be cremated. She was only 6 years old, while cats are usually between, I'd say, about 10-20 years old when they typically die. The main reason was that my family has not had money to bring her to the veterinarian. Not only did my cat have diabetes, she also had a tumor in her abdomen, so one or the other or both could have taken her in the end. Tuesday afternoon, I noticed that she was alive and well responding but was having trouble moving and constantly having seizures. She was like that yesterday morning, as well. Yesterday afternoon, when I went to see her, I noticed that she was not responding at all and was completely still, but still breathing. I knew she had not long to live once I saw her in that state. This morning, she was still the same, not moving or responding but still breathing. Less than an hour ago, however, when I got into my mom's car to go home from school, she told me the news that the cat stopped breathing and my mom took her to the SPCA to be cremated. We had had her since January 2010, when she was but a kitten, barely old enough to be away from her mother, as was my other cat, which we got at the same time. The one thing my mom has been telling me, however, is that both of our cats could have been killed if they had not been adopted for much longer after we did. At least she got to live more than 5 years longer than she could have. And also, we only have to spend half as much as we used to on food and litter.
I'm so sorry to hear about your cat dying :( I'm glad that your cat was able to live 5 years longer than she would have had she not been adopted. Your mother is seeing a positive out of a bad situation, and that can be a good thing in a lot of cases.

My next issue: Where I live currently and money. My family does not have all that much money, and if you saw my apartment, not trying to win attention here, but you would have to feel a little sorry for me. Some of our neighbors around us are smokers, and a few even do drugs, so we have to deal with those smells all the time. We have moved a fair amount of times in our lives and twice have even had to resort to staying with relatives for a few weeks before we could find an affordable place to live. Only one place I have lived before was a house, although 1. it was not in the best neighborhood and 2. it was somewhat small as a twin, but not as small as any apartments we have lived in. About the money: We are a middle class family, but barely. You would want to think the opposite if you were to visit us. My parents would have to make a little less to be considered poor. For a lot of things, financial assistance either isn't enough or is embarrassing. For instance, I wanted to enroll in a summer music program, but it is very expensive for us. My mom emailed them about financial assistance, but they said they could only offer a small amount of a discount. It was still not enough.
Sorry to hear :( Money can be a problem for some people, and I'm sorry to hear that it is for you. My family is about the same as yours, lower-middle class. I am also a referee for soccer to help make money, and I'm going to get a job this summer. Since you are in 8th grade, you are not old enough to get a job yet, but when you become 16 years old, that is when jobs start hiring. I recommend that when you turn 16 to look around a little bit; go to website of a grocery store, look at their application forms and fill them out, or go to the store itself to get a form there if you are required to do that. Of course though, you have to make sure you have time in the day to work, and you also have to make sure you are able to get there, whether it'd be one of your parents taking you and picking you up or if you start driving (if you have any questions about driving, or anything relating to work, etc, you can ask me and I'll be able to help you :) ).
My final thing to say here: School. I am normally a pretty good student in school but I have not gotten strait As yet this school year. My parents always expect me to get As on assignments but lately I have been getting a lot of Bs and Cs. I have strait As for the moment but I have a big history final and a big math final coming up in two weeks. I am especially worried about math as I am afraid it will be the thing to make me lose my A in math at the last moment. It is usually hard for me to do better than a C+ on math tests lately. I have a bad feeling that will play on once this final arrives. I got low Bs in the 1st and 3rd quarters this year even though I cam just over half a percentage away from an A in quarter 2. Not only am I stressed academically, but I am really not much of a talker at all. Often I am quiet for a large portion of lunch time. I have trouble talking to others in general and sometimes I just seem to be an inactive block unnecessarily taking up space at the lunch table. I've gotten a little better recently but I'm still not great. This, in turn, is what I believe is part of the reason I am sensitive to there being a lot of talking while there shouldn't be any. The other part is jazz band. I am in my school's jazz band, and many of those in it often tend to play their instruments just about whenever they want, even though they shouldn't be. Occasionally it's talking, too, which is the other part of the reason I am lately very sensitive to unnecessary playing of instruments and talking when it shouldn't be there. I am going into high school for the first time in September, which, hopefully, will change my experience with things. Hopefully I will be able to take on new opportunities to help me with my social skills. Jazz band there should be more serious.
I am pretty much just like you when it comes to grades - 2 A's, a B, and 2 C's in AP classes (weighted). The problem with our educational goals nowadays is that it's all about SAT/ACT scores (You sign up for then in your junior year usually) and GPA, GPA, GPA. It's so annoying because for a majority of students, they're not going to become an engineer, a scientist, a historian, a politician, an author etc. However, classes in high school are so revolved around those subjects, and that one's goal for your future path for school is most likely a 4 year university, that is creates more stress than anything. I think that schools should find a balance between the classes that are normally studied an also other classes centered around visual performing arts, and even classes that actually teach you how to pay taxes, start a business, etc. I digress. One has different levels of stress and more or less at stake depending on what grade him or her is at. If you're a freshman, you still have time to get your grades up, plan what you want to major in, look at universities, etc. For the math test, it's normal to worry; make sure to get some practice problems. As a junior (11th grader), I am within reaching distance of my future. I have a 3.4 GPA at the moment, and that can be the difference between going to a university or not, it's stupid. For the history test, make sure you study, and do a study guide/look over it if you have a study guide. test day with a positive mindset, like "Alright, I'm going to pass this" or something like that. Hopefully you do well on those two tests :) I'm sorry to hear about your social aspect of what you talked about. Do you ever feel alone and not like it, or do you embrace being an individual? I am also somewhat of a loner myself. I've had a history in my past with bullying, critical mistakes, poor decisions, etc, which affected my social status. I still have a few friends, good ones, and block out the "friends" who are ones to lowkey pick on me, etc. I've embraced being a loner because I enjoy being alone sometimes, but for you it might be different, which is why I am wondering if you ever feel sad from being alone. Also, if you really need to vent to someone besides your parents, you could always talk to a school counselor or an adult that you can trust. Also, I apologize if my next piece of advice is cheesy and typical, but when you go to high school, try to find people that have similar interests as you and similar characteristics. If you like video games, and there's a video game club, sign up for the club and you never know, you could make some new friends. Make sure you block out anyone who picks on you and stuff and do not try to fit in with the "cool kids" or anything. It's better to be yourself, and not be someone who you are not. Hopefully the jazz program goes well going into high school as well, and maybe you can meet new people over there too. :)
 
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Quest

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Since you are in 8th grade, you are not old enough to get a job yet
Some jobs accept 14 year olds.
Thanks for the kind words both of you. It warms my heart to hear this. :)
 

Zachy

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Some jobs accept 14 year olds.
Thanks for the kind words both of you. It warms my heart to hear this. :)
Glad I could be of help in some way! :)