Life sucks dude.

Jack Atlas

The Master of Faster
Staff Member
Head Admin
VIP Member
Premium Member
Bronze Member
4DR Social Member
Contest Designer
6,055
Awards
13
4DR Swag Bucks
$1,165
FC
1808-0739-4570
NNID
SonicPro
Switch FC
SW-1469-9895-1872
  • 4DR Ex-Leader Bill
  • 4DR Veteran Members
  • Contest Designers
  • 5 Year Membership
  • Addicted to Racing
  • 4 Year Membership
  • 50K Swag Bucks
  • Splatoon Assassins
  • VIP Members
  • Bronze Members
  • Helping Members
  • Premium Members
Before you respond to this thread with all your condolences and the "oh that shit sucks man hope everything gets better" spiels, I'm not necessarily looking for any kind of pity, just trying to pour my thoughts as of recently after a few months of the stuff I've been through.

So basically most of 2018 has been a massive pain in the rear for multiple reasons. That could pretty much sum up my entire post and I could call it a day. But I'd also like to share a lot that has made this year so poor for me. I guess I can start with the day I ended up leaving Kings Island.

May 18th, 2018. This will be a day that I can look back at some of the actions that happened that day that I find extremely difficult to forgive myself for. I've told many people that I left Kings Island because I was tired of the stupid people there. This statement is only partially true, because the real main reason, is actually much worse. A couple days prior, there was an error in counting money for someone that I was responsible for the night. I can't recall exactly what had happened, but what I do remember is telling 2 different stories to my co-workers and my superiors about the situation (which is a BIG no-no as a person in power), and as a result, they thought (or at least I'm pretty sure they thought) I tried to commit financial fraud (which is a federal crime). This was by no means my intention, though I struggle to remember why. Part of it was definitely because I was pretty rattled by an earlier confrontation with my direct manager basically meaning you screw up again, you're getting demoted. Which is what ended up happening sadly as a result of my stupid mistake. I kind of remember doing it just to try to do the right thing, so my manager gave me three options: one was to be demoted and work in a different area, transfer to a different department, or leave the company entirely. Obviously since I no longer work there, I chose door number 3.

After I returned my uniform the following week, I started to fall into a pretty dark place for about a month and a half. I would have periods of time where I sat in my apartment for days or even weeks without doing anything but doubting myself. I wondered why I even worked so hard to help the place I once really liked to work at and all of a sudden your sheer stupidity ripped it completely away, making it all but meaningless. After a while, an e-mail was sent to me that a pizza place down the street was hiring delivery drivers and was paying people possibly twice what I would earn working at Kings Island as a supervisor, and all I would be doing is driving around delivering pizzas to people. I quickly went on their website and applied, and sure enough, I was given the job. I thought to myself, this was going to be a new start for me. But it would only be the beginning of more of my dark thoughts.

The pizza place I work at is quite nice and all of my co-workers are really chill and nice, but it is CRIMINALLY understaffed. Not just because unemployment is down and there are less people that need jobs, but people keep quitting because of the crappy staffing problem and make the situation even worse. I started to really overwork myself, because I kind of feel obligated to help out to not have the place go down in flames. I've quickly become one of their best drivers. And overworking myself seems to have a pretty nasty side effect on my mind, and leaves me pretty depressed. This time, it doesn't seem to want to go away, even though I thought I got rid of my long term depression 3 years ago. Guess it just made a comeback to haunt me yet again.

This added on to me being lovesick that someone I really liked for a while just got in a relationship with someone else right as a build up the courage to confess my feelings to her (and just not finding anyone else I could really care about) has really left me... I don't know the right word for this... stuck? Hell if I know. I feel trapped in my own thoughts and trapped in my job, and having to run an entire clan on top of that really doesn't help either. I don't know what to do. I guess I can try to relax for a week and a half when I go on vacation for Christmas, but even then, I still have some clan work to do during my trip, so it won't really feel like much of a break.

That's enough rambling for now (no seriously, the battery is about to die), if you think you can help me out with anything, feel free to leave your comments below. Just thought I'd get this off my chest.
 

This is Val

Overdose.
Premium Member
1,704
Awards
3
4DR Swag Bucks
$2,337
  • 2 Year Membership
  • Contest Winners
  • Premium Members
I feel like you need some time for yourself, put your ideias in order, chill, think about what you should do and recover from your state. The fact that you are overworking on your new work is just making things worse and affecting your daily thoughts without giving you a break to set your mind. If only you could stop overworking and go back to work normally with a proper shedule, that would help. Another way would be finding a new job if you can't deal with this one. Your mental state is important and you should take care of yourself. Put yourself in first and hope you recover soon! Talk to your boss and come to an agreement, it depends on you and what you think is more worth it. Do you get paid well? Is it worth at the end? Should I quit and find a better job since this one is making me feel worse? You should ask yourself these questions and figure out what you'd like to do. Try to relieve your stress and get proper rest, everything is going to be alright!
 
  • Like
Reactions: Jack Atlas

Irelia

Banana
Bronze Member
151
Awards
1
4DR Swag Bucks
$624
  • Bronze Members
I can understand your situation :/ But I'm proud that you worked hard in the pizza place which make it more better, even the place is bad as long you are doing your best hard working which it could encourage the others or at least it makes it from bad to good. As my doctor said today " there is people incomes money in seconds". He basically said just thank the god. Also, as my father said that " Every stage is different", which means every stage you go in, and every job you go in, it should have a problem. As I think, there is no perfect job 100%, each job must have an issue. For example, I had some bad memories in school because of the students while my teachers were so nice. However, in university is the opposite for me.

So, as Valeri said, you got to ask yourself questions, and develop questions that it might help you and think clearly. The most important thing is to wait and not get in rush, everything will be ok, and u already doing very well in your working i'm proud ! I wish the best luck and don't give up. :hug:

System.out.println("A M A Y A");
 
Last edited:

Jack Atlas

The Master of Faster
Staff Member
Head Admin
VIP Member
Premium Member
Bronze Member
4DR Social Member
Contest Designer
6,055
Awards
13
4DR Swag Bucks
$1,165
FC
1808-0739-4570
NNID
SonicPro
Switch FC
SW-1469-9895-1872
  • 4DR Ex-Leader Bill
  • 4DR Veteran Members
  • Contest Designers
  • 5 Year Membership
  • Addicted to Racing
  • 4 Year Membership
  • 50K Swag Bucks
  • Splatoon Assassins
  • VIP Members
  • Bronze Members
  • Helping Members
  • Premium Members
Overdue update on my situation:

After a while, I have fully forgiven myself for the actions I did last year, but upon this year, I come across some new problems.

My workplace got a new General Manager a few months ago. After about a week or so, he seemed like a fresh start for the company I work at. He seemed to have hos shit together, was able to keep his staff in check, and we had few problems arise. As of about a month ago however, that status has made a complete 180 for me. If that wasn't bad enough, as of about a month ago, I have really been getting sick of the community and this game in general, and all of that combined with the extreme stress from work has really taken a huge toll on me and my mental health.

My GM has been cycling through an unusually large amount of staff as of recently, because he keeps hiring idiots that are lazy and/or are just complete garbage at learning how to do their job. I am the only full-time delivery driver, and the only driver besides maybe 2 of them that actually does their fucking job. The other drivers just sit around and don't do anything until a delivery comes up, and when they are asked to do something, they just scoff and say "i came here to work, not to get barked at with orders" like uh thats your job??? And because of this laziness, I have to do literally everything, and also deal with shit I should not ever have to deal with.

About a week or so ago, one of my managers found some old trays stacked on a dough cart that smelled funny next to clean trays that I had cleaned last night. She took them over to the sink and asked me to clean them because she was busy prepping toppings. I went over there to clean them, only to find mold on the fucking trays. Not only that, some of the spores got in my lungs, making me pretty sick for a couple days. So I had to spend a good 2 hours cleaning the mold off all of the trays, as well as making sure the other trays weren't contaminated with the mold as well. It was so bad I had to tell my co-workers (one of which is pregnant) to stay away from the dish sink until all of the mold was gone, because I did not want to risk any of my co-workers getting sick as well.

I immediately reported it to my higher-ups so they knew what had happened, but to my surprise, one of the managers thought that was no big deal. I told him I was probably going to quit because I have had enough of this garbage and laziness, to which he responded "whats a little mold gonna do to you? you're quitting because of that? get real."

To add insult to injury, I request Saturdays off to play EL (and take care of personal shit I have to get done), but my GM "magically" didn't see my request and scheduled me anyway. I told him about it, and while initially a little upset, gave me the saturday off. I offered to work mondays from that point on so I can still get some hours in to pay my bills, and he says thats fine. Guess what he does? He schedules me for both Monday AND Saturday in addition to my normal Tuesday-Thursday and Sunday, so I only get Friday off. I can't even dispute it either, because he decides literally with barely a day's notice that he's on vacation for a week.

I'm just tired of the bullshit I endure working at this fucking place, on top of the stress shitbabies in the community put on me from flaming me for no apparent reason. The stress really has hit a new high for me, and at this level, I'm starting to lose my sanity.

My only saving graces right now are my friends with this clan, in Team OHIO, and a girl I recently started talking to (though I have doubts that will last or become anything special), and I really feel like if something doesn't change for the better for me, I'll most likely fall too deep in this rabbit hole of stress.
 

BlitZ

Nintendo Enthusiast and Student
VIP Member
Bronze Member
605
Awards
3
4DR Swag Bucks
$850
FC
0220-7517-9384
NNID
Luigi4u
  • Premium Members
  • Bronze Members
  • VIP Members
  • Deleted by BlitZ
  • Reason: i don't want people to know it's me
A

Anonymous (b99cc0)

Guest
<div class="bbWrapper">Hey Amaya,<br /> <br /> I understand I am not around a lot but this post definitely caught my attention. Hey as of now i'm in a place of stress too. Lots going on, I have two jobs, school, boy scout leadership positions, swimming and in my grade 11 year of high school which is determining my future and other social factors to balance as well.<br /> <br /> That sounds absolutely ridiculous and you should not have to deal with that at work. Currently I work at Chick-Fil-A, I have an incredible staffing team, beside the point. Here is a link to some details about working in harsh conditions with things that can get you sick and what you should do about that involving your employer. <a href="https://www.osha.gov/right-to-refuse.html" target="_blank" class="link link--external" data-proxy-href="/proxy.php?link=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.osha.gov%2Fright-to-refuse.html&amp;hash=d3bde21c14c37f16088ebadf06dc22ca" rel="nofollow noopener">Right to Refuse Work | Occupational Safety and Health Administration</a><br /> <br /> I completely understand how hard life is and stress is crazy and can lead to overwhelming thoughts or actions. Highly recommend looking around to see if there's any other jobs you can do at different workforces that will treat you correctly as you deserve the best, feel free to get back to me if there's anything else I can do to help or any other things you would like to express. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite152" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-shortname=":)" /><br /> <br /> I want to remind you on a serious note that these problems are temporary and not permanent, obviously you should try and do everything you can to fix them but I promise they are not worth leading to any drastic measures or things that are a permanent solution, as I care about you. If your parents are supportive, even though you are an adult, they should have your back and understand your situation.<br /> <br /> I wish you the best amaya, hope we can talk soon <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite152" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-shortname=":)" /></div>
 

BlitZ

Nintendo Enthusiast and Student
VIP Member
Bronze Member
605
Awards
3
4DR Swag Bucks
$850
FC
0220-7517-9384
NNID
Luigi4u
  • Premium Members
  • Bronze Members
  • VIP Members
Hey Amaya,

I understand I am not around a lot but this post definitely caught my attention. Hey as of now i'm in a place of stress too. Lots going on, I have two jobs, school, boy scout leadership positions, swimming and in my grade 11 year of high school which is determining my future and other social factors to balance as well. That sounds absolutely ridiculous and you should not have to deal with that at work. Currently I work at Chick-Fil-A, I have an incredible staffing team, beside the point. Here is a link to some details about working in harsh conditions with things that can get you sick and what you should do about that involving your employer. Right to Refuse Work | Occupational Safety and Health Administration

I completely understand how hard life is and stress is crazy and can lead to overwhelming thoughts or actions. Highly recommend looking around to see if there's any other jobs you can do at different workforces that will treat you correctly as you deserve the best, feel free to get back to me if there's anything else I can do to help or any other things you would like to express.

I want to remind you on a serious note that these problems are temporary and not permanent, obviously you should try and do everything you can to fix them but I promise they are not worth leading to any drastic measures or things that are a permanent solution, as I care about you. If your parents are supportive, even though you are an adult, they should have your back and understand your situation.

I wish you the best amaya, hope we can talk soon :)

p.s. (feel free to delete my previous thread as i was going to post it anonymously but it didn't go through correctly)